ComradeSch's Left-Wing DictionaryDirect Democracy: The People directly discussing issues and coming to a descision. The best form of government when applied to the correct level.Representative/Party Democrac: Electing officials to lie on one's behalf, thus stabbing oneself in the back. Untrue democracy. The scourge of the First World.Constitutional Monarchy: The allowing of a foreign monarch to intervene in the People's matters, stalling progress and limiting the Power of the People.Residual powers: powers owned by no-one in particular, since no-one bothered to write them down.Federalism: The idiotic idea that one central location should handle everything at the expense
USSR satires, Aleksandr Zitinskiy The switch guardOriginal title:Александр Житинский:Стрелочник(1975)Aleksandr Zitinskiy:The switch guard(1975)I heard the announcement while riding on the commuter train. Outside the damp winter forests ran backwards and the train driver listed all the job openings offered by the directorate of the railway company. The humidity was 100%. I wasn't qualified for any of the mentioned jobs, and this saddened me somewhat. On the list of missed opportunities the last item was the profes
USSR satires, M. Zoshchenko: HypnosisOriginal title:Михаил Зощенко:Гипноз(ca. 1925)Mihail Zoshchenko:Hypnosis(ca. 1925)Well let me tell you this fact proudly: I haven't killed a single doctor in my entire life!I haven't even hit any!Once I had quite a quarrel with a doctor, but apart from some cursing and the aggressive waving of several objects to intimidate one another nothing supernatural happened. I haven't touched the bastard with a single finger, despite the itching in my palm. Only my conscious self held me back, otherwise I'd have roughed hi
USSR satires, M. Zoshchenko: PovertyOriginal titleМихаил Зощенко:Бедность(1925)Mihail Zoschenko:Poverty(1925)These days brothers, what is the most fashionable word?These days the most fashionable word in existence of course is electrification.This – I can't deny it – is a matter of greatest importance, illuminating Soviet-Russia with electricity. But even this has it's dark sides. I don't say comrades that it's expensive. You don't need to pay a lot. Nothing more than money. I'm not talking about this.Instead... well, let's
USSR satires, V. Kataev: Comrade ProbkinOriginal titleВалентин Катаев:Товариш Пробкин(1924)Valentin Kataev:Comrade Probkin(1924)I sighed grievously:- This is how it is, my pal Sasha! We communists have been tainted by the bourgeois lifestyle! Canary, diaper, soup with fine noodles, blueberry fruit jello, to sum it up... this is how things are.- Don't even continue. I know plenty of people who... Just come with me. I'll show you a magnificent man: Probkin. Communist, party membership applicant t
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